Category Archives: May 2012

Born and Raised and Ashamed of it

From: [email protected]
Subject: Born and Raised and Ashamed of it

Hi,

After spending 25 years in this squalid cesspool of a city, I want out. Here’s why:

  • Dirty sidewalks and streets in every neighborhood.
  • 99% of these people are degenerates.
  • 100% of those degenerates are so goddamn rude.
  • Crime is high (robberies, murder, you name it).
  • The city Cops are assholes (but then again all Cops everywhere are assholes).
  • Taxes (sales, property, business privilege, etc.) are higher than anywhere else in Klansylvania.
  • Weather is awful (it’s NEVER fucking sunny in Philadelphia).

I’m sure I forgot a few things, but I think I’ve made my point. Also, I have an abhorrence for Manayunk/Roxborough, where nearly everyone is a teenage-parent-white-trash-party-animal-dropout. All along Ridge Ave. I see these teenyboppers pushing their bastard babies around in strollers. Prove me wrong.

When I leave, it will be someplace far away in the U.S. and I don’t plan on returning.

Truly Yours,
Voting Tax Payer

Just one question

From: [Email Removed]
Subject: Just one question

Hello all you fantastic Philadelphia haters,

If a philly couple gets divorced, are they still brother and sister? (or brother and brother/sister and sister) …cue the duelling banjos. Seriously Philadelphians, research has shown that after just a few generations of inbreeding offspring can often be…, well, quite “Philadelphian” in nature. For everone that’s not from philly, if you ever feel way down and consider ending it all just remember, YOUR not from philly! :) If you are from there, do us a small favour and end it quickly. Do us another small favour and take a loved one with you.

All the best to everyone who isn’t a Philadelphian.

GREAT WEBSITE