Category Archives: May 2014

Philadelphia is a Cesspool

From: [email protected]
Subject: Philadelphia is a Cesspool

Hey, Philly Sucks,

We just started a new Facebook page, where we have spewed all of our hatred for Philadelphia in the space of less than 24 hours. We are a husband and wife team just getting started on this venture.

I lived in Philly from 1986 to 1993, and he lived in Philly on and off for many years. We both have numerous ill memories and experiences from having lived in Philly, but we aren’t over it, since we are still in the suburbs within smelling distance of Philly.

He has hundreds of stories to tell, and he’s not here to tell them, but the best story I can give you is the time I got motion sickness from the putrid fumes of a Philadelphia city bus and fainted just after stepping off the bus on my way to my classes at U Penn. I took two steps off the bus and fainted, landing face down on the sidewalk. When I came to, I noticed that people were stepping over me. I had blood trickling down my forehead. I got up and staggered over to someone asking him if he had a tissue so I could wipe the blood from my head. He reluctantly gave me his napkin and then proceeded to finish stuffing his face with a breakfast sandwich. Not one person asked me if I was okay or if they could get me some help, and no I didn’t look anything like a homeless person, not that that should matter. I was a relatively new transplant from my native New York City to this place called the City of Brotherly love. I was not impressed. At least if people
step over you in New York, they don’t demand conformity while offering nothing of worth in return.

Anyhow, here’s our brand spanking new Facebook page. We need LIKES, so please share our page. My husband feels we should spread the hate.

Adios from our suburban hideout–

Cesspool Philly

Inbred racist fucks

From: [email protected]
Subject: Inbred racist fucks

As a 49ers fan trapped on the East Coast, I’ve had to deal with a lot of hate at games. Baltimore and Boston? Surprisingly friendly to visiting fans. Philly? The worst fucks on the planet. I genuinely hate the Eagles, but pity them at the same time for having to play in front of such bandwagon jumping fatass fans. After one tour in Iraq, and a month into a deployment in Afghanistan, I’ve never worried about my safety as much as I did in that wretched city. Fuck those people. Fuck them right in their stupid faces

F$!# the PPA

From: [email protected]
Subject: F$!# the PPA

I know this site was created to log your complaints about Philly sports teams, but I can’t f×$!ing stand the Philadelphia Parking Authority. They are a relentless force of evil. They will ultimately drive me out of this city one and for all. Philadelphia has always been my home and I’ve always defended it fiercely but lately I feel like the city of brotherly love has got it out for me. I am so fed up with the bull shit costs of living in this city. I spend more money on bull sh*t than 8 can afford to. I am dying the slow death of a million little paper cuts. I am so mad at this city right now, I just had to vent.

A new area I should move into?